There is something in me that is still struggling against God; that still doesn’t want to choose His way instead of self. My mind is in full assent with Him: I not only know that His way is best because he is Good, but I can see why. I want what He wants. But there’s some waywardness, some rebel faction within that simply wants what it wants and hang the consequences. Have I fed it, that it has the power to exert itself now? Have I failed to put it down when I ought to have?
O Lord Jesus, who alone art able to subdue all things to yourself, subdue me. After that I have suffered a while, strengthen, stablish, settle me. Don’t take away all my pains. Let me suffer something for You. But measure my suffering. Make an end to it, and let me be strengthened by it. Help me to hold on, even when I am discouraged. You are kind. You will not let me live an empty, aching life. In your presence is fullness of joy, and I will live in the warmth of that joy again and again. I accept your discipline – help me to grow from it rather than be paralysed by it.
All the universe, look at me and see that our God is kind.
