And seekest thou great things for thyself? seek them not… (Jeremiah 45:5)
This verse jumped up and bit me yesterday. I quickly shook it off, but the teeth marks are there in my mind. Oh, I am loathe to admit that God may be asking me to give up the hope of work in my field and later, a Master degree, but it seems that this is what he is asking. I am disappointed, but because I have asked of Him a Very Dear Thing, I can give up my ambitions if he asks me to. I have found that Pearl for which I am willing to abandon all other precious things. It may be that this is His very way of answering that request. I’d hate to be the obstacle to His giving me my heart’s desire.
Lord, if you ask me to, I will give these up. I will do any work you ask me to do – only lead me plainly, so that I, for one, may be sure that the way I go is your way, and not the result of my own lack of commitment/chutzpah. Let me be sure that the way I go is Yours indeed, and not simply my own laziness!
There is a foolish part of me that doesn’t want to follow; that wants to reject his direction of my steps. But He is kind, and speaks with me despite the alternate bucking and sulking of that mutinous scion. Oh, my God is very dear!
